NOTE: I originally wrote this on my personal blog not too long ago, but figured I may as well share this more openly as a topic. Before I begin though, I want to stress first and foremost that this doesn't apply to everyone in the DOA community (or in any part of the fighting game community for that matter). To those that it does apply to, don't worry about that. This is not intended to condemn any individual, but to help the community as a whole with an issue I can't ignore anymore.
Once too often I see criticism take a wrong turn and it turns into a slamfest of personal insults. Mainly because there are some people who can't take blunt criticism as well as others. Sure, you can tell them to "grow thicker skin" until they're blue in the face, but this doesn't always work. Sometimes this leads to giving the impression that you have no compassion or no heart, and 9 times out of 10, that person is gonna turn rebellious just to spite you.
Fighting games can be stressful and require a significantly high mental willpower to become great at them, and for newer players - and sometimes seasoned players down on their luck - how you handle the suggestions to a player, whether they're sharing what they know or seeking methods of improving, could dramatically alter their course of dedication. Sometimes the love of the game isn't enough. Sometimes reassurance and focusing on the positive intentions of the contributor/player as well as the flaws of that very one can keep them wanting to persevere in the game they're ever learning. On the critiquing end, there's a common thing people forget when approaching those who are sensitive, and that's equally focusing on compliments while at the same time giving fair criticism.
For the most part, I want to believe that when people want to give advice or contribute strategies by post or through a video, we all have good, healthy intentions. When we play in tournaments without the intent of exposing ourselves on stream for views and fans, but rather to support the offline scene, we have good, healthy intentions. When we decisively play in online stream lobbies to exhibit the potential of our game to others, we have good healthy intentions. How you execute criticism in these situations - whether you want to believe it or not - can make or break a player's will, especially newer players and those with "softer skin", so to speak.
I wanna share something about myself. Back then I was known to be a really nice guy. To some, perhaps too soft. Even when I was acknowledged by some as an experienced DOA player (or more specifically, a Christie player), I hated being in a position to judge other players or critique on their play if they ask me to. Because depending on what I say, I could lose that player forever. The fear of being labeled an elitist douchebag would haunt me for quite a long time, and I have seen my share of elitists, especially the kind that leeches off the popularity of accomplished players in order to talk down maliciously to others. I never, ever wanted to become like that. But eventually, I was going to have to confront that fear and do it as gracefully as humanly possible.
One day, back when Dead or Alive 4 was still a thing as far as the now-defunct CGS was concerned, I was recommended by someone to help train a certain individual who will remain nameless (unless this person wants to be made known). I was very nervous, and almost considered backing down on doing so because of the following reasons:
1) I never went to an offline tournament at the time.
2) Most of my experience was online, with only a limited amount of time to adjust to offline when my sister was around.
3) I never won or placed in an offline tourney.
But despite all this, there were a handful of players in the community who believed in me. I observed closely the dos and don'ts when approaching criticism based on how things were portrayed in the forums at the time, whether it was judging artwork, strategies, or whatever. And then I approached this player and winged it the best I could. Before I knew it, I was setting up times to meet and covered basics and fundamentals a bit at a time. The player was excited. We went over Christie's movesets, stuns, combos, her normal-hit launchers, her launchers off of critical stun, her wall safe launchers, movement through her secondary Dokuja-Fujin stance, how to use offensive holds, specific areas of the environment such as Gamblers' Paradise, weight classes, low-punch hold combos, everything. For the first time in my life I felt confident enough in my knowledge to actually teach someone, and I wouldn't have made it as far as I did with this player if I didn't do something so simple: Compliments before criticism.
When the player improves on their game - regardless of how small the feat or accomplishment is - you should always, always take that into consideration before you open up the criticism. From what I've observed, blunt criticism can easily be taken out of context, especially on the internet. And depending on the person (and I'm no stranger to this, ask around) the critic's intention can easily be taken the wrong way. From what I observed, people listen and understand a lot better when the criticism is followed up by a compliment. In doing so, the person can see that you acknowledge their good intentions, and are more likely willing to take your advice regardless of how many holes or flaws you see in their play or their contribution.
Oh, but wait, there is another issue at hand. How do you deal with those who seemingly have a "scrub mentality"? This my friends, is where the real challenge lies, and is why I specifically wrote that this method doesn't apply to just everyone. Some people with a stubborn mindset can be helped, while others cannot be helped. Here's my suggestion in dealing with them without completely condemning them. Even though you may have a better understanding of how to play the game than said scrub, play the humble card anyway. These are a few key personality traits you should consider before confronting them:
1) How bloated is their ego? If they believe themselves to be hot shit, the best thing you can do for them is ignore them, especially if you have taken this person out many times before without the person realizing it.
Maybe with enough beatdowns, they'll eventually humble themselves and open themselves up to learn more. Once they've done this and you know the player well, it's the perfect time to keep that player's ego in check when doing so. Unfortunately, these bloated egos who see the light are nowadays a rare breed.
2) Have they started off casual players, wanting to get into the game competitively, but created their own set of "honorable rules" when it comes to learning? Believe it or not, these people have a lot more hope than the previous. If it were not true, then I would've gone back to playing DOAX2 for several more years, not caring at all about the fighting games and writing them off as a titty fighter with no skill.
Anywho, an example I want to make about this type of player I can relate to was a player who was very indifferent about using air juggle combos in not just DOA5 Ultimate, but DOA in general, although combos are part of the game's intended system to be used and abused whenever possible to score guaranteed extra damage from a launcher. This player considered using air combos "unrealistic", and many have made a counter-argument that DOA wasn't intended to be "ultra realistic" like, say, a UFC fight.
Many have blown off this player, but most of them made one key mistake when explaining the legitimacy of air combos. They left this person with the impression that it is the one and only way to play the game correctly, when in truth, it requires a balance of utilizing all forms of tactics to deal optimal damage. Not every opponent is going to play the same way, and oftentimes will throw off even those with the most powerful tactics. Although the player hasn't shaken off this mentality of not using juggles (yet), I managed to get through to this player and thus became good friends.
Part of the reason I believe this player listened and tried to understand our competitive mentality was because I tried to be relatable to this player as opposed to sounding far removed from the player. We both started off as casual fans, drawn to our favorite character in a unique way, and are character loyalists. So it's not always about giving compliments before giving criticism, but being down-to-earth, honest and relatable to this person to lead them to the proper path and staying the course. It gives them hope that they too can overcome what they believed would be impossible, or better, deem a tactic they seemed unfair legit, then looking back and laugh.
Some thicker-skinned, less sensitive people might classify this as "trying to baby a player", but I disagree. As a friend once said here, "Inspire to improve, improve to inspire". A community is about inspiring others and encouraging them to improve, so that one day they can inspire another. As such, it leads to a chain reaction of positive growth... what you reap is what you sow. You reap encouragement, you sow encouragement. Always consider this when confronting an aspiring player wanting to learn more, and be relatable and down-to-earth with that individual if you can. But if you are clearly more knowledgeable than this person, and they become stubborn in their ways by creating mental barriers for themselves, remain humble anyway and leave yourself open to them, should they ever decide to see the light when they back themselves to a corner. Otherwise, leave them be. Either way, it's their choice, and theirs alone. You can only do so much to help.
Once too often I see criticism take a wrong turn and it turns into a slamfest of personal insults. Mainly because there are some people who can't take blunt criticism as well as others. Sure, you can tell them to "grow thicker skin" until they're blue in the face, but this doesn't always work. Sometimes this leads to giving the impression that you have no compassion or no heart, and 9 times out of 10, that person is gonna turn rebellious just to spite you.
Fighting games can be stressful and require a significantly high mental willpower to become great at them, and for newer players - and sometimes seasoned players down on their luck - how you handle the suggestions to a player, whether they're sharing what they know or seeking methods of improving, could dramatically alter their course of dedication. Sometimes the love of the game isn't enough. Sometimes reassurance and focusing on the positive intentions of the contributor/player as well as the flaws of that very one can keep them wanting to persevere in the game they're ever learning. On the critiquing end, there's a common thing people forget when approaching those who are sensitive, and that's equally focusing on compliments while at the same time giving fair criticism.
For the most part, I want to believe that when people want to give advice or contribute strategies by post or through a video, we all have good, healthy intentions. When we play in tournaments without the intent of exposing ourselves on stream for views and fans, but rather to support the offline scene, we have good, healthy intentions. When we decisively play in online stream lobbies to exhibit the potential of our game to others, we have good healthy intentions. How you execute criticism in these situations - whether you want to believe it or not - can make or break a player's will, especially newer players and those with "softer skin", so to speak.
I wanna share something about myself. Back then I was known to be a really nice guy. To some, perhaps too soft. Even when I was acknowledged by some as an experienced DOA player (or more specifically, a Christie player), I hated being in a position to judge other players or critique on their play if they ask me to. Because depending on what I say, I could lose that player forever. The fear of being labeled an elitist douchebag would haunt me for quite a long time, and I have seen my share of elitists, especially the kind that leeches off the popularity of accomplished players in order to talk down maliciously to others. I never, ever wanted to become like that. But eventually, I was going to have to confront that fear and do it as gracefully as humanly possible.
One day, back when Dead or Alive 4 was still a thing as far as the now-defunct CGS was concerned, I was recommended by someone to help train a certain individual who will remain nameless (unless this person wants to be made known). I was very nervous, and almost considered backing down on doing so because of the following reasons:
1) I never went to an offline tournament at the time.
2) Most of my experience was online, with only a limited amount of time to adjust to offline when my sister was around.
3) I never won or placed in an offline tourney.
But despite all this, there were a handful of players in the community who believed in me. I observed closely the dos and don'ts when approaching criticism based on how things were portrayed in the forums at the time, whether it was judging artwork, strategies, or whatever. And then I approached this player and winged it the best I could. Before I knew it, I was setting up times to meet and covered basics and fundamentals a bit at a time. The player was excited. We went over Christie's movesets, stuns, combos, her normal-hit launchers, her launchers off of critical stun, her wall safe launchers, movement through her secondary Dokuja-Fujin stance, how to use offensive holds, specific areas of the environment such as Gamblers' Paradise, weight classes, low-punch hold combos, everything. For the first time in my life I felt confident enough in my knowledge to actually teach someone, and I wouldn't have made it as far as I did with this player if I didn't do something so simple: Compliments before criticism.
When the player improves on their game - regardless of how small the feat or accomplishment is - you should always, always take that into consideration before you open up the criticism. From what I've observed, blunt criticism can easily be taken out of context, especially on the internet. And depending on the person (and I'm no stranger to this, ask around) the critic's intention can easily be taken the wrong way. From what I observed, people listen and understand a lot better when the criticism is followed up by a compliment. In doing so, the person can see that you acknowledge their good intentions, and are more likely willing to take your advice regardless of how many holes or flaws you see in their play or their contribution.
Oh, but wait, there is another issue at hand. How do you deal with those who seemingly have a "scrub mentality"? This my friends, is where the real challenge lies, and is why I specifically wrote that this method doesn't apply to just everyone. Some people with a stubborn mindset can be helped, while others cannot be helped. Here's my suggestion in dealing with them without completely condemning them. Even though you may have a better understanding of how to play the game than said scrub, play the humble card anyway. These are a few key personality traits you should consider before confronting them:
1) How bloated is their ego? If they believe themselves to be hot shit, the best thing you can do for them is ignore them, especially if you have taken this person out many times before without the person realizing it.
Maybe with enough beatdowns, they'll eventually humble themselves and open themselves up to learn more. Once they've done this and you know the player well, it's the perfect time to keep that player's ego in check when doing so. Unfortunately, these bloated egos who see the light are nowadays a rare breed.
2) Have they started off casual players, wanting to get into the game competitively, but created their own set of "honorable rules" when it comes to learning? Believe it or not, these people have a lot more hope than the previous. If it were not true, then I would've gone back to playing DOAX2 for several more years, not caring at all about the fighting games and writing them off as a titty fighter with no skill.
Anywho, an example I want to make about this type of player I can relate to was a player who was very indifferent about using air juggle combos in not just DOA5 Ultimate, but DOA in general, although combos are part of the game's intended system to be used and abused whenever possible to score guaranteed extra damage from a launcher. This player considered using air combos "unrealistic", and many have made a counter-argument that DOA wasn't intended to be "ultra realistic" like, say, a UFC fight.
Many have blown off this player, but most of them made one key mistake when explaining the legitimacy of air combos. They left this person with the impression that it is the one and only way to play the game correctly, when in truth, it requires a balance of utilizing all forms of tactics to deal optimal damage. Not every opponent is going to play the same way, and oftentimes will throw off even those with the most powerful tactics. Although the player hasn't shaken off this mentality of not using juggles (yet), I managed to get through to this player and thus became good friends.
Part of the reason I believe this player listened and tried to understand our competitive mentality was because I tried to be relatable to this player as opposed to sounding far removed from the player. We both started off as casual fans, drawn to our favorite character in a unique way, and are character loyalists. So it's not always about giving compliments before giving criticism, but being down-to-earth, honest and relatable to this person to lead them to the proper path and staying the course. It gives them hope that they too can overcome what they believed would be impossible, or better, deem a tactic they seemed unfair legit, then looking back and laugh.
Some thicker-skinned, less sensitive people might classify this as "trying to baby a player", but I disagree. As a friend once said here, "Inspire to improve, improve to inspire". A community is about inspiring others and encouraging them to improve, so that one day they can inspire another. As such, it leads to a chain reaction of positive growth... what you reap is what you sow. You reap encouragement, you sow encouragement. Always consider this when confronting an aspiring player wanting to learn more, and be relatable and down-to-earth with that individual if you can. But if you are clearly more knowledgeable than this person, and they become stubborn in their ways by creating mental barriers for themselves, remain humble anyway and leave yourself open to them, should they ever decide to see the light when they back themselves to a corner. Otherwise, leave them be. Either way, it's their choice, and theirs alone. You can only do so much to help.
