Where to fucking begin??? Ok lemme roast everyone KL style
~ So lemme get this straight.... your have all this tech, frame advantage and pressure and place high on the tier list but your ass still can't get above 20 costumes? You've been using the same tired voice clips since VF5, get it together XD
~ Don't flatter yourself Alpha XD the only reason people haven't dropped you is cuz you have that stupid ridiculous BURST throw and people can't seem to deal with your nasty near endless strings and your unnecessary 3 CBs. If you didn't have those you'd be fucked worse than a twink at his first porn session
~Stop acting all tsundere, you're a weak bitch who only became bitchy since you were treated like an outcast. As much as I hate Hayate you deserved to be slapped by him and Kasumi, you're a shit poor sister and the only reason you exist is because Raidou is an evil cunt who can't respect a woman's marital status. Your attempt to kill yourself and you cutting your hair all because you found out Kasumi is your sister is a desperate cry for help
~You can't even control your daughter XD next time use protection before having kids who have way more authority and control than you do
~ Calls himself a pro mercenary but can't even handle a younger less experienced assassin like Christie XD quit your day job, Christie has way more balls than you could ever hope to have in those army camos of yours
~ You're a dirty, pissy smelling dirty drunk who is in denial that he wants to fuck Eliot. Get a job you filthy prick, and don't hit on women who actually have something going on for themselves XD I bet you smell like shit
~ You call yourself an assassin but got your ass beat by Kasumi and Helena in story mode.... FUCK, you didn't even win ONE story battle, and who the FUCK loses to Eliot? XD Get money bitch
~Hayate do yourself a favor and stay as ein and don't look back.
~ You're a weak, shitty, pathetic excuse for a brother. You haven't even won a single tournament and yet you treat KASUMI like shit?? You're a chump, I hope in DOA6 Raidou sticks foot up that stoic ass of yours, you literally need to loosen your lame ass up. You'll forever be Raidou's bitch so drop to your knees and get to work bitch ass fucker, you make me sick.
~ You're a suicidal wreck who relies on a bad neutral, stance that lets you duck non true mids, and a reset throw to win, but it can't hide how weak you are XD next time use honey blonde hair dye, mustard color hair isn't your thing
~You're a generic anime karate girl bitch, you're as plain and boring as a bowl of white rice with chopsticks, give it up black forest cake
~ You're the epitome of brainless beauty, you got the ass and tits and thiccness but there's nothing cooking up in that thick skull of yours. But don't worry, Adult videos are popular in Japan, especially with those tits I'm sure tons of guys have imagined ****ing on as they *** to your pictures on Sankaku Complex
~ You're all talk XD You talk all this shit but have you actually won a DOA tournament??
Thought so, NEXT
~ Stop acting like a hard ass all because you were mistreated as a child and move on XD and quit trying so hard with all those meh Bruce Lee shouts, you sound like some Japanese guy busting a *** in a Japanese adult video
~ Clueless as fuck. She's so clueless I bet she wears white pants on her period. She'd also give online trolls like Wazaaaaa a run for their money with how slow she appears to be
~Nothing to say.... my mother taught me not to speak ill of the Dead
~ You want Jann's dick so bad you've entered 5 tournaments just to get your ass beat.... sis, give it up. That's what you have Hitomi for XD Just fuck and *** with her already and stop chasing the dick of someone who is not afraid to throw you into a dining room table XD
~ You're not the strongest man, give it up, Lauren lied to you. If you were you would have won a DOA5 competitive tourney by now and wouldn't have to rely on the home stage to make it seem like you're even relevant
~ Knock off the slutty shit XD If you're really married to Andy, you wouldn't be showing your ass and tits and flirting with your opponents 24/7
~ You want Bass's DILF dick and you know it, just drop your jeans for him already XD and get some hair extensions while you're at it too, you have as much hair on your head as Amber Rose's untrimmed bush she posted on Twitter XD
~ Shrine maiden? Right XD I bet you give Hayabusa hand jobs under the kitchen table as you let Rachel eat your box while you say morning prayersXD
~ She's a pro at handling eggplants XD. Also attention whore much?? XD Look we know you want dick and *****, it's not hard to see when you dress like a Japanese courtesan prostitute from the 16th century XD I bet if the game allowed it you'd hold a dildo and use that as a weapon XD And chill on the poses, you look like you're pegging and eating ass and pussy half the time! XD
~ You got speed and frames and advantage on your side but STILL haven't won a tournament XD maybe fighting isn't your thing?? Go back to being a diva Hong Kong movie star, sucking **** is way easier than throwing a punch in your case XD
~ You wear more lipstick than a drag queen on Rupaul's drag show. XD don't be surprised that so many bis and gays either pocket or main you
~You're a dirty pathetic rapist, next time kill yourself before you lay your hands on a woman without her consent. You should've stayed dead, you being alive is basically shitting and pissing all over Kasumi and Ayane's story. Rot in hell
~ Why are you even in DOA? All you do is interfere with the other ninja's battles and take the credit like the overrated stoic attention whore asshole you are. Your face also looks like shit, please PLEASE keep that mask on XD God damn...
~ You're so generic, Zack couldn't even tell Tina apart from you, and she has SHORTER hair and bigger tits than you XD
~The slut and whore of DOA XD Good luck on your presidential campaign, be prepared to channel Monica Lewinsky as you suck off and get plowed by politicians to secure you campaign♡
Don't take these too seriously XD
