Should I Hide Being an Asshole?

[deathofaninja]

When it comes to school or playing games, who cares, but now I'm at a professional point in my life and I'm worried how my attitude will transition to that. I'm not good at hiding it when I'm pissed, I'm generally not that friendly unless I can find some common ground with whoever I am talking to. I am mean because people have been mean to me and I feel like I have the right to be an asshole.

Recently I ruined something for my sister because I was an asshole, I was in the wrong I don't need to explain it. But at this point I feel like I should start pretending to be someone I'm not. Should I keep being myself and hope it all works out like it does for some people? Or should I be fake as fuck and make more money?

My sister tells me to play the game, but I don't actually know if that's what I want. How do you guys contain yourself after someone pisses you off? Do you blow up like you rightfully should or do you hold it in with some crazy technique?

 

[Awesmic]

When it comes to school or playing games, who cares, but now I'm at a professional point in my life and I'm worried how my attitude will transition to that. I'm not good at hiding it when I'm pissed, I'm generally not that friendly unless I can find some common ground with whoever I am talking to. I am mean because people have been mean to me and I feel like I have the right to be an asshole.

Recently I ruined something for my sister because I was an asshole, I was in the wrong I don't need to explain it. But at this point I feel like I should start pretending to be someone I'm not. Should I keep being myself and hope it all works out like it does for some people? Or should I be fake as fuck and make more money?

My sister tells me to play the game, but I don't actually know if that's what I want. How do you guys contain yourself after someone pisses you off? Do you blow up like you rightfully should or do you hold it in with some crazy technique?

I dunno your quotidian life like that to make a proper suggestion.

So send a PM.

 

[Kasumi-Phase-X]

I wouldn't recommend thinking of pretending to be someone that your not, because you may make yourself very miserable or regret decisions you've made, you may end up hurting others even ones that has never been mean to you, and things you may end up doing can easily cost you of what you enjoy or work to a point where you had to resign or give up your current position like what you do for a living which all you'd end up doing is bring a bad reputation to yourself & what you represent.

I do recommend is be yourself, find what you enjoy the most, & do try to forget other people that you wouldn't care that much. If there is a game that your not interest, despite what others are wanting you to get. Just be honest, and say something like "I'm not interested."

For Me on how I contain Myself I do mostly do My best to hold it or keeping it to Myself (especially thoughts of wanting to do harm to certain people or anything that is worst) which there things I can hold it in very well, while there are times when I do get upset or get too worked up which I may end up saying hurtful stuff (which sometimes online when I someone was getting on My nerves which part of My house is hollow where My parents can hear Me bit) but there are moments where I hurt My friends which I do end up deeply regretting or feel bad for Myself for what I said. I even have issues where I just don't want either My parents or anyone else worry about Me, sometimes when they do I get bit annoyed and I mostly don't say anything or may be honest.

As someone who has autism, I have both positive thoughts (even stuff I'm interested that keeps Me happy) while others I have negative thoughts (even if it means doing something harmful to Myself). I do try My best to contain Myself where part of My positive self mostly stands the most.

 

[Pictured Mind]

Just don't get pissed off.

 

[KING JAIMY]

When it comes to school or playing games, who cares, but now I'm at a professional point in my life and I'm worried how my attitude will transition to that. I'm not good at hiding it when I'm pissed, I'm generally not that friendly unless I can find some common ground with whoever I am talking to. I am mean because people have been mean to me and I feel like I have the right to be an asshole.

Recently I ruined something for my sister because I was an asshole, I was in the wrong I don't need to explain it. But at this point I feel like I should start pretending to be someone I'm not. Should I keep being myself and hope it all works out like it does for some people? Or should I be fake as fuck and make more money?

My sister tells me to play the game, but I don't actually know if that's what I want. How do you guys contain yourself after someone pisses you off? Do you blow up like you rightfully should or do you hold it in with some crazy technique?

This is where psychology comes into play. We use the term emotional self-regulation to refer to the amount of control you have over your emotions. Some people have it in a greater extent than others and can hide their own feelings, whereas others have it in a lesser extent which could lead to the 'blowing up' you're talking about. To put it in perspective, expressing anger is a natural response and there is nothing fundamentally 'wrong' about it.

I'd say this is some part of your personality. You shouldn't try to explicitly change that, only because others tell you to do so. In the same way, you could ask THEM to change and not be so over-sensitive. Besides, if they asked for it and they deserved it, then I'd say you definitely have the right to be an 'asshole'.

My message, therefore, is that you should act how you want and not how others want you to act. Be yourself man.

 

[Goarmagon]

Just be yourself man. People call me narcissistic and vein because I have a bunch of trivial knowledge about what I like. I respond by not giving a fuck. Being yourself is the easiest way to filter assholes out of your life and so what if they see you as an asshole? As long as you aren't objectively treating people like shit the I say be yourself even if others may find it uncomfortable.

 

[Awesmic]

Being yourself is the easiest way to filter assholes out of your life for most people.

This sounds much more believable, since occasionally being yourself sometimes makes them even more vicious and resilient than before.

 

[CyberEvil]

Being an asshole is stupid. Being blunt or direct is not.

 

[Chapstick]

Hide it to an extent if you want to be successful/don't want to alienate people close to you. I keep my emotions to myself in a bad situation and vent ASAP to friends. Find an outlet like that or you'll get an ulcer.

 

[Awesmic]

Hide it to an extent if you want to be successful/don't want to alienate people close to you. I keep my emotions to myself in a bad situation and vent ASAP to friends. Find an outlet like that or you'll get an ulcer.

That explains the pain I sometimes feel in my midsection.

Thanks for that vital info.

 

[deathofaninja]

Being an asshole is stupid. Being blunt or direct is not.

In this world being blunt or direct is part of being an asshole. At least to some I guess.

 

[Chapstick]

I also want to point out not being an asshole doesn't mean being like "What a fantastic morning everyone! Love and light!" since you mentioned not wanting to be fake. Just don't say certain unnecessary things and slightly rephrase others in your head before saying them.

 

[CyberEvil]

In this world being blunt or direct is part of being an asshole. At least to some I guess.

There's a difference between perception and actually being something. Being an asshole is career suicide, not to mention bad for your personal relationships. Being direct or blunt can often be the difference between being noticed and not.

 

[Kronin]

Be always yourself: it's very important to be empathetic with the others using the right way to express yourself without hurting their different sensibility, but even so say always what you think and give an image more close possible to your real persona. This is important not only for your career, but overall for living healty with other people and, first of all, yourself (the majority of my real life problems come just from me not being able to apply this in my relationship with the others).

I believe that nowadays sincerity is an underrated value with people wrongly thinking that it's better to hear what they wish rather than what they need: the first case can be able to create the impression of an happy present, but is just the second scenario that can really work for improving the future.

 

[David Gregg]

How do you guys contain yourself after someone pisses you off? Do you blow up like you rightfully should or do you hold it in with some crazy technique?

Go through these steps (don't know if it helps but it's worth a shot right?):
1) What is it that they're saying that upsets you (differing of opinions, criticizing/critiquing you, etc...)?
2) Why does it "piss you off" so much that they've said it and is there any truth in what they said? Also on the flipside, what are they saying that you disagree with?
3) How can you best communicate to them that you understand what they've said and then if you feel like you need to, share your opinion in a calm and collected way (i.e. not "blowing up" on them as that's usually not very effective)?
4) If the conversation continues to head in a direction where you feel like you may say or do something you regret, try and end it in the best way possible and allow yourself to leave the situation and cool off.

For the last 4 years as a medical student I have dealt with many people who I'd label "frustrating" (and I'm a pretty laid back guy). Whether it be angry/unreasonable patients, being critiqued by upper levels, etc... I initially took it personally but have really grown from it. It's taught me a few things in a professional setting:
-Constructive feedback, although you may take personal at first, is one of the best things you can receive. It means that person cares enough to want you to succeed and improve in whatever area you're in. At least hear them out even if you won't necessarily follow it.
-You may be a professional but that doesn't mean you're immune to experiencing human emotions. How you handle yourself in a situation however is what sets you apart from the guy who is cussing you out. Take the higher road even if you're upset and get through your interaction as quickly and effectively as possible. There will always be @ssholes. That's not something you can change. What you do need to do however is you job and no one is worth jeopardizing it.
-It takes practice. Don't expect everything to change once you've decided to "hold it in". It takes baby steps and understanding yourself and how you react in certain situations.

Good luck.

 

[Chapstick]

For the last 4 years as a medical student I have dealt with many people who I'd label "frustrating" (and I'm a pretty laid back guy). Whether it be angry/unreasonable patients, being critiqued by upper levels, etc... I initially took it personally but have really grown from it.

Funny enough I mentioned that ulcer thing earlier because my best friend who works in a hospital actually got one from those kinds of stresses you listed.

 

[Ictinike]

Hmmm, I don't think anyone should be an outright asshole. Another thing is, no one has the RIGHT to be mean to others, even if they were mistreated in the past. I mean, unless it is to those that were doing the mistreatment. I could say I have been mistreated a lot, but a lot of people have. I generally try to remind myself that I don't want to be like those people who have done me wrong in the past.

Granted, easier said then done. People can really grind on the nerves and often times it is easier to be mean. However, there is a time and place for everything. Sometimes you have to suck it up and deal with it. That's life. You have to do things you don't want to do on occasion.

As others have said, blunt and direct isn't bad but there are a lot of sensitive people out there. Sometimes it's just a matter of tone or your expressions that could change how people react to your bluntness.

You must remember that not everyone is going to like you. It might not even be your attitude they don't like and just dont like you for no reason at all. There are some petty people in the world.

Anyway, I'm rambling. My advice would be, if you feel yourself about to outwardly express your anger try to remind yourself what type of environment you're in. It's difficult to do, yes. Also, if you are ever in the wrong, be sure to swallow your pride and apologize. It may also be good to warn people beforehand like, "I'm sorry if I come off as blunt. Try not to take it too personally."

I think it is good that you realize that sometimes, maybe you can be too mean and feel like you shouldn't be like that always. After all, there are others out their who feel they do no wrong and don't give a damn about what their actions have caused others. I guess you're not as much of an asshole as you think.

 

[akhi216]

Being an asshole is stupid. Being blunt or direct is not.

This. As long as you are logical and respectable you are fine but don't let anyone get to thinking that it's a weakness.

 

[Jyakotu]

Never change who you are, but always remember there is a time and place for everything.

 

[Jefffcore]

Never Change who you are for someone else.*

Change for you; change to better yourself, if and when it suits you.

The first thing you need to ask yourself, is if YOU have a problem with it. Since you feel like it could harm you professionally, I'm gonna say yes. If that's the case then I say ask yourself why. Really ask yourself.