You're right, it isn't. That's why you tell them what they are doing wrong and what they can do to improve. You also direct them to players who are a bit above their current skill level, because that gives them a reasonable target to improve against.
Good answer, but the key phrase is "wannabe tourney players". The ones who don't make the cut are usually obnoxious and attempt to compensate by bloating their ego in unreasonable ways that have nothing to do with actual competition. Online players bragging about fictitious triumphs and claiming they are the best at their character, even though they have no legitimate way of measuring this are good example of that kind of stupidity. And it is that exact behavior we frown upon, naturally.
Firstly, don't consider it a blood sport. That would be if strangling your opponent with his controller cord was a legal move. You're entering commands in a video game that result in a graphical outcome. It isn't physically hurting someone who you beat and, if it is causing them severe mental anguish it is their own responsibility to fix that problem -- not yours. It's the key issue people have trouble overcoming as mentioned in this
gloriously aged article. Competitive communities are about like-minded individuals pushing each other through such trials to improve. If you are never faced with an impossible situation to break through, then you will never have anything to actually aim for. The very concept of competition falls apart at that point.
But if you can't evolve towards the correct mentality, then competitive play will never be fun for you. It's not about causing mental anguish, (although im sure some folks get off on that) it's about overcoming barriers.
